Never thought I'd be here...
I received this story in my inbox the other day from a precious woman in the thick of it. She’s very much still in the middle of the muck, but felt strongly she wanted to share her story in case there were others out there that needed to hear it.
She has decided to share anonymously, and I encourage you to, when you read this story, lift her up in prayer. Prayer is very much how we find the strength to wade through these heavy seasons in life. I believe we will be hearing from her again as she experiences the healing and redemption of Christ through a story she never thought would be hers.
If you choose to leave any comments, I ask they be encouraging and helpful. Remember that each person’s journey is their own.
With a heavy heart here is a bit of mine:
I got married 7 years ago.
Both of us are involved in ministry and well known in the church. I facilitate prayer groups and women’s bible studies, he is in full time music ministry. We dated a long time before marrying and felt like the Lord had definitely lead us to marry.
Right after the marriage started, I began to see his behaviour change. He gradually began to become more controlling, critical, verbally abusive and distant. There was also some financial dependance starting as well. I soon realized that I had made some mistakes in my decision to marry him. I am in the process of working through this with counselling and wonderful support from other women.
I had gone thru pre marital counselling with my husband as well as both of us doing individual counselling. We even did marriage mentoring to make sure we were ‘doing all the right things’. None of this worked. Partly due to the idea that you should always do everything to make the marriage work - even in the face of abuse. This actually made it a lot worse and put both of us in a more difficult place. I was planning on leaving the church where I had built a life for 30 years, but decided to stay because there was just one woman who took the time to hear me and sit in my story with me.
My story is continuing to develop and there will be changes made in the New Year. There is so much more to it which would take too much time to tell, but feel I must begin telling my story for the sake of other women who might be experiencing what I am. Never in a million years would I ever have believed I would ever be in this position. But now must embrace it for what it is and move forward to have a “healthy” life. I know and believe that God uses everything for good and I have already seen my pain lead me to other women to come alongside to offer them my support.
I ask for your prayers to have the courage to move forward with what I believe at this point to be the “right thing” to do to bring to an end this destructive verbally abusive relationship that is not honouring to God. Especially when most of my world will not understand why.