Follow up: Dating Advice
To follow up my ‘Dating Advice’ post, I wanted to share my experience in my newest relationship. You know - the one I mentioned where I feel like I’ve finally ‘figured it out’.
One of the things that constantly has my jaw on the floor is how much safety there is in this relationship to be fully who I am. He’s seen some unglamorous sides of me - mostly by mistake (I’ll tell you over coffee sometime…) - and yet it doesn’t phase him. It’s like, for the first time, I’m allowed to be fully human and show it without it affecting my attractiveness according to him.
I didn’t realize the effects of small comments from past relationships that has translated to me that I had to hide pieces of myself. Ready for me to get real? Comments like, ‘girls don’t poop.’ Or ‘that’s disgusting.’ When making a comment about how your moodiness is tied to your ‘time of the month’.
This relationship, it’s different. When I’m processing things or learning a new way of how I think, he is fascinated. When we’re on a call and I’m very clearly multi-tasking not giving him undivided attention, he doesn’t get mad and annoyed. He accepts that this is something I do and it’s not a good time to enter into a serious conversation. Granted, he also knows that if there is something that needs my undivided attention, it’s probably best to be straight up and ask so that I’m not checking emails, budgeting and watching a TV show at the same time. It’s almost as though he is learning me the same way I have and am learning myself. He’s not asking me to change, he’s simply in love with how I’m made and fascinated by my processes that are much different than his. This makes for a much less stressful relationship. It allows us both to come as we are, learn how we work, and adapt to each other’s ways. This provides SAFETY. Something I’ve heard many times on the podcast I’ve listened to: The Betrayed, The Addicted and The Expert.
So all this to say, find someone who lets you be you. Who allows you to keep discovering who you are and who, in fact, thrives off of you being you. This world needs that. They need you - so…ready for the corny… #BeTrulyYou!